Shattered Heart
by Moody Writer
Summary: Post 5x01. "You are the only family I've got," Sam swallowed hard. "You mean everything to me. Please, don't take that away from me. I beg you." One-shot. Mean!Dean.


**Title:** _Shattered Heart._

**Author:** _Moody Writer._

**Summary:** _"You are the only family I've got," Sam swallowed hard. "You mean everything to me. Please, don't take that away from me. I beg you." One-shot._

**Warnings: **_None. _

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing except for the plot. It's mine. No money is being made from this story. I wrote it for fun and that's all._

**A/N:** _This story takes place after Dean's & Sam's talk in the parking lot at the end of E1 of S5. Imagine that what demon-Boby said to Sam earlier in the episode wasn't the demon talking, but the real Bobby, and Dean decides to ask Sam the same. A big thank you to my awesome beta reader **Starpossum **who beta-ed this story. _

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"When this is all over, Sam, and if we come out of it alive, I want you to leave. Lose my number and leave, for good."

The cold words came out of Dean's lips like heavy rocks meant to crash Sam's glass-like heart. They sent shivers down Sam's spine and had his breath held in for a moment. Sam's eyes travelled to examine Dean who was staring out of the window, giving his back to Sam. Dean's tone reminded Sam of their father. The same exact tone that Sam used to hear a lot from John when he was a kid. The same exact tone Sam wished he would never have to hear again in his life from someone as close as family. As close as Dean was to him.

"Dean... Dean, please don't say that. Not you too," Sam choked the words out. He felt like crying right that instant. Tears stung the backs of his eyes, but he struggled to keep them from spilling out. Dean's words stabbed Sam in the core of his heart. He never thought Dean would ever want him to leave. He anticipated anything but this. He could bear it if Dean chose to beat the crap out of him for everything he had done. He could bear not to have Dean talk to him for months. Yes, he could suck that up because he knew he deserved every bit of it, but to leave his big brother forever? Leave and never see him again?

Dean turned to face his little brother who was sitting on bed a few feet away. "You think I could forgive you, Sam? After everything you have done? Sorry, dude, but I'm no angel. I can't walk around and pretend that everything is alright. I can't do it when I know that the person who caused all this mess is none other than my _own_ brother."

Tears threatened to fall down Sam's flushed cheeks any second. He swallowed hard, trying uselessly to collect himself, to collect his shattered heart and put it back into one piece. Dean didn't miss the teary voice behind his little brother's words when he spoke, "Dean, please, don't do this. I know my apologies won't repair any damage that I've done, but please, give me another chance? All... All I ask is another chance, Dean. Please?"

"I gave you many chances, Sam, and you threw them out the window. You trusted a _demon_ over me. You hid things from me, lied to my face and treated me like I was an idiot!" Dean yelled. His voice was screaming both profound pain and rage.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Tears were finally released, were finally allowed to roll down slowly, "I swear I will not lie to you ever again. I won't keep things from y—"

Dean cut him off harshly. "It's too late, Sam. Don't you get that? This can't be fixed. It's over. We can't be what we once were."

Dean's outrageous glare and harsh tone had Sam cringe away, and Dean paused to let his words sink into his little brother's mind. Sam, on the other hand, couldn't stifle his soft cries. He gazed down and tried aimlessly to wipe away the tears that fell down like a cascade.

Dean sighed miserably. He hauled himself to the nearest chair and sat down quietly, listening to his brother's soft sobs that echoed in the half empty room. He studied the floor beneath him. Despair and sorrow replaced the anger in his face. He ran his hand across his face, trying to rub away the weariness and shake off the anger that was planted in his features. He took a deep breath and studied the floor once again. His head hurt, his whole body ached, and most importantly his heart was wounded. He shut his eyes tightly in a false attempt to block out the painful images of bad moments he had had with Sam in the last months. They ran across his eyes like a trailer for some kind of a horror movie.

"I wish I didn't have to do this, Sam. I really do, but I can't help this feeling of anger and resentment inside me. I feel betrayed. I…" He paused to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. "Do you know how much that hurt, Sam?" A pause. "Do you?" His voice quivered this time. He was on verge of crying himself.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Sam attempted once again, looking up in his brother's direction with eyes full of tears, "please."

Dean's heart clenched painfully at hearing his little brother's desperate pleas. His mind and heart were battling. His mind refused to back away from his decision, whereas his heart told him to just forgive and forget.

Silence. Sam's sniffles and the clock's ticking were the only noises in the dim room.

"I don't want to lose you, Dean," Sam said hoarsely after he had stopped crying. His tears wouldn't stop from slipping down, though. "You are the only family I've got," he swallowed hard. "You mean everything to me. Please, don't take that away from me. I beg you," he added.

Dean's mind was making quick flashbacks to the times he had spent with Sam. They had been through a lot together; they never left each other and always had each other's back. Dean's mind was going even further, deep into their childhood when he took care of Sam, carried him in his arms, fed him, changed his clothes, bathed him, played with him and, on top of that, watched out for him. Always had. Then why give up now? Did the punishment that he intended to give Sam fit the crime, or was it too much?

Dean stood up and paced away from where Sam was sitting. He was still battling inside, still wounded and still mad. But, yet, a small part of him wanted to forgive his baby brother like he always had.

After what seemed like forever to Sam, he broke the silence. "You have every right to be angry with me, Dean, and I am not asking you not to be. I... I just beg you not to ask me to leave. I need to be with you. I _need_ you in my life." The last words came out as a whisper, but they were loud enough for Dean to hear.

Sam always needed Dean in every moment in his life even when he was off at Stanford. However, at that time he couldn't bring himself to admit it because he kind of resented Dean for being the son he couldn't be; therefore, he tried his best to suppress the desire to just call him in every time he felt he needed his big brother. But that was just then. The last few years had been different. Sam and Dean had been almost inseparable like they were one another's shadow.

Another heavy silence stretched between the brothers. Faint hope was glittering somewhere deep in Sam's glassy, distant eyes. He waited patiently for Dean's response as if his whole life were dependant on it, like it was a matter of life and death.

Dean turned slowly to look at Sam whose blurry vision tried to scrutinize his big brother's green eyes.

"No." Dean made up his mind.

Sam's heart was completely crushed, completely ripped apart. He suddenly felt so cold, so abandoned, as though Dean had just disowned him by his reply. More tears spilled down Sam's face at hearing the icy word. His lips wouldn't stop quivering so he bit his lower lip hard.

Sam then nodded his head in understanding and laid down slowly on the bed, facing the other side away from Dean. He pulled his arms around him tightly, letting his tears stream down freely.

_'I wish you had just killed me like Dad told you to, Dean,'_ Sam grieved.

**_Fin_**

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**A/N: **_So, what do you think?_


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